There’s Always a Cost
There is a cost to following God and I’ve always known that. For each person, it will look differently, but following after Him requires us to lay down our lives to pick up the cross. His sacrifice; my sacrifice. After our message today at church, I wanted to reflect because the words I heard spoke straight to my heart. The last few days have been difficult as I have been mourning some of those “costs” of moving and leaving our lives here in New Hampshire. First, it’s the cost of leaving friends. I’m not unaccustomed to moving and forming new friendships… I’ve been blessed with the temperament to be able to do that, however it’s truly, truly a gut wrenching thing to have to do. I am incredibly sad to be leaving those God has brought into my life here. They will become, like others, friends that I get to see once or twice a year. They aren’t going to be my inner circle that allows me to just hang and be. I am, don’t get me wrong, incredibly grateful for technology, but it won’t be the same. It’s additionally difficult thinking the same is affecting Josh and the girls. The weight of this cost is great and there’s no getting around it.
Secondly, opportunities. The girls have been involved with activities that will be harder to get in Poland. I’m mourning the sacrifice of not seeing them enjoy and participate in those activities. Even if they are available, the language barrier will make it harder.
For me, right now, these two are the sacrifices that are hitting me the hardest. These are the “costs of following Him” which enable me to draw closer to God. In the emotional pain of considering, facing and grieving these costs, I know that at some point in this trajectory, I’ll come away with the blessing of my obedience. I trust that my family’s obedience will equally bless each and every one of them as well. I don’t have control over my husband’s or the girls’ emotions and responses to all of this. So- I lay it at the foot of the cross. I trust in His provision in every single aspect of our lives. That’s all I can do.
There’s always a cost. Right now… this is mine.